The Journal of darkmistress.
Rawr 02-21-08 18:30
I am accomplishing absolutely nothing. I go to class everyday, get lectured at, and never DO anything. Sure, I write papers, take tests, complete assignments. I do not contribute anything. I can't do research, as I haven't taken experimental psychology. Even if I could, what kind of research opportunities are in Pocatello, Idaho? How can I prove that I am talented and capable if I have no way of putting my talents into practice? I feel kind of trapped here. I don't have many options. And I can't just leave, and transfer. I do hope this gets better, and I can find something where I am doing something useful and interesting.
I HATE 02-05-08 10:53
Idaho universities. At BSU, I received credit for English 101 and 102 because I scored a 32 on the english portion of the ACT's. I transferred those credits here, and they didn't go through. ISU wants to know where the pass grades CAME FROM. My God, they are on my official transcript! THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH! Now I have to pay $10 to have the ACT scores sent out again to ISU, and I"m sure that isn't the end of the problem. Idaho is the most backwards state in the US.
So far.... 01-29-08 18:59
This semester is infinitely better than the last. Yet, I still feel terribly empty. Its not school, and its not Todd. I know what it is, and I can't say here, but suffice it to say it is tearing me apart and I am powerless to stop it. I want to know the answer. What is my purpose?
This class 01-25-08 08:02
is really boring. Intro to politics SOUNDED interesting....WRONG.
I have no courage. None. I can generally stand up for myself, but not in something this important. Its breaking my spirit. It goes against so many things I believe. Yet I continue. On a brighter note, i have discovered that the advice to get 25 grams of fiber daily is GREAT advice. I lost 2 pounds last week (at nearly 40 pounds over what I should be, that makes me happy. I'm closer to m y goal!) and I don't feel so damn sick all the time. Why did it take me so long to discover that if I just eat what I am supposed to, I will be healthier? I swear, I'm an idiot. I already feel better about myself. It''ll be nice when I am a healthy weight again, like I used to be. Am I the only one that gained a horrible amount of weight first year of college?
Sorry 01-22-08 18:33

This is a poorly written rant...I just needed to get it out...forgive me any bad grammar and nonsensical sentences.

i am not any man's property. I am so sick of being told that everywhere I turn around here. The only place I seem to get any relief is in my women's studies class (already proving itself to be amazing). I DO NOT have to change my last name just because I am married. I DO NOT belong to Todd because I chose to marry him. I will not have children until I am good and ready, which is going to be a long time. I am so grateful I live in a time where I have easy access to highly effective birth control. I WILL NOT be told that I cannot be a strong, independent, and sexy woman, by ANYONE. I am not an extension of my husband. I am a unique individual with my own talents, thoughts, hopes, and ambitions. I do not need a man to be a "real woman", no matter what anyone around here tells me. I am grateful that I married a man who sees me as his equal, despite the fact that he was raised to see his wife as otherwise. I do not understand how women could be led to believe that their ONLY purpose is as wives and mothers. I refuse to be a passive, sweet, virginal woman like so many people in this area seem to want me to be. I will NOT submit to any man, at any time or place, for ANY reason. I am my own person, and I'll be damned if anyone tries to tell me otherwise.
Its back 01-13-08 20:42
to school tomorrow. 18 credit hours this semester. Fun fun.
Yay 01-11-08 12:11
I finally have wireless internet again, so I can use my laptop instead of the desktop. I can also start to post again too. Todd kind of hogs his computer, so I can hardly get on when we don't have wireless internet.
YAY 01-01-08 09:49
Coming back to the valley for a couple of days. I do miss Boise...
Its almost 12-31-07 09:39
2008, and I am kind of wondering where the time has gone. It has been nearly two years since I graduated high school. It doesn't seem like that long.
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